Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Andy's FanFiction


Chuck
 Chuck Versus the Runaway 

“Is it just me or are their faces getting rock-hard!” Chuck exclaimed whilst rubbing his hand nonchalantly after knocking out the Italian guard. Things were going as planned; break into the Villa in Torino, get the chip with stolen, top secret C.I.A information, then get out. This should be easy thought Chuck, carrying out the proposal plan is going to be the difficult part. 


The sun began to set over the luxurious villa; Chuck’s awkward attempt at romanticism failed once again as he lovingly gazed at Sarah in her flowing evening gown disguise, “Isn't it a nice view?” “Focus Chuck!” Sarah snapped as she ignored his eyes and continued to make her way towards the vault. She had been on edge ever since her private meeting with Beckman the previous day, just after chuck learned that his mother is being forced to work for Volkoff.

They discreetly strolled over to the unguarded vault, “maybe they’re at dinner?” Chuck nervously suggested. From Chuck's experience an unguarded vault was never a good sign. Sarah did not respond but instead she went to work unlocking the vault. Click! The heavy, bulletproof door slowly swung open revealing a small, clear glass box, sitting on a small white coffee table in the center of the room. Sarah was quick as she walked forward, looking over her shoulders to check for guards. She grabbed the box and turned around, only to find Chuck directly in front of her.
“It’s the only way,” she affirmed as she averted her eyes from Chuck’s. “Why so melodramatic?” Chuck innocently questioned as he had yet to notice her unusual demeanor. Instead of responding she kissed him on the cheek and started running out of the vault and down the long corridor that led them there moments earlier. 


“Sarah!!” He called, but to no avail; Chuck had no idea what she was doing, or why. The plan was simple get the chip and leave. “Sarah!” Chuck yelled again, “SARAH!” He began running after her but the villa was large and windy. He could barely see Sarah in the hall ahead; she was heading to the rear entrance. Chuck turned the corner just in time to see his love, and partner-in-spying, get into an expensive black Bentley. The next thing Chuck knew, he was on the ground with blood in his mouth and the beginnings of some swelling on his cheek. Before he had a chance to register what had happened, he heard the sound of the engine roar and fade in the distance as Sarah left. His head ached, stones were sticking into his back from the gravel; he did not want to open his eyes to face the reality of what was happening. Morgan’s voice bellowed out of his earpiece, “Chuck! Chuck! Are you alright, buddy?” “I’ve lost Sarah…” he responded quietly, with fear in his voice. Chuck opened his eyes and saw a giant man with short black hair, muscles protruding out of his two-sizes-too-small shirt looming above him. 


He instantly flashed; the man’s name was Igor and he worked for Volkoff as one of their top assassins. Chuck felt a sharp pain in his side as Igor kicked him. “Hahaha - she is never coming back! No wonder she left - who would date a guy like you anyway!” Igor snarled as he prepared to finish off his newest prey. Chuck was not thinking about the pain, all he could think about was that fact that Sarah was gone and he could not understand why. Before Chuck could search for Sarah he had to get rid of Igor. Chuck jumped to his feet, not bothering with his usual coward talk, and walked up to Igor. The giant thrust his fist towards Chuck’s face which he blocked, an instinct that he had grown accustomed to since downloading the Intersect 2.0. He could feel his face throbbing from the first blow and blood dripping from his nose as a result of the second. It could be broken but that pain would be nothing compared to losing Sarah. The Intersect was working overtime, showing Chuck many ways he could immobilize the beast. He pulled his arm back, ready to finish him. Suddenly, Chuck heard a noise which sounded like a gunshot and instinctively dropped to the ground to protect himself. He watched as Igor’s body hit the ground with a thud, Chuck thought this was odd, as most people in his field do not hold the same fear of guns as he.

“Get up!” He heard the familiar grunt of John Casey. Chuck jumped to his feet, now seeing blood coming from Igor and a gun in Casey’s hand. “John, where did Sarah go?” Chuck hastily asked “How should I know what the hell Walker is up to,” he replied placing a hand on Chuck’s shoulder trying to comfort him without getting too close. They made their way back to the Volkswagen where the team rendezvous with Morgan. Morgan handed Chuck a wet wipe from his fanny pack to clean up the blood but Chuck used it to wipe the tears. “Does this mean more man time?” Morgan awkwardly said trying to make him feel better.

“She gave me no warning, I was planning on proposing tonight,” Chuck sobbed as he leaned onto the car with his hands in his pockets. The expression on Chuck’s face changed to surprise as he pulled a small note from his pocket. ‘What does it say?’ Morgan eagerly asked. Chuck nervously unwrapped the note, which must have been put there by Sarah secretly in the vault, 
GONE TO GET YOUR MOTHER, LOVE SARAH.
Chuck’s heart sank, “walker…” groaned Casey.

7 comments:

  1. Hello

    Have read this over a couple of times.

    It seems to be written quite well. All flows, distinct scene changes.

    Is this a add on to a scene, or a new one you created yourself?

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  2. Thanks for the comment Dent,

    This is an add on to a scene but offers an alternate way in which Sarah enters into Volkoff.
    It is hard to enplane everything in 1000 words, so readers who do not know Chuck may be slightly confused as to what is going on.

    Maybe I should include a prologue, if I can fit it.

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  3. Ok

    At the end though I am stil a little confused.
    Dd she leave intensionally or was she taken?

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  4. You got the "H" in sarah at the end too. Sweet lol

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  5. Hi there

    As you said in your comment, Andy, "readers who do not know Chuck may be slightly confused as to what is going on." Well, you are right there. Partly, anyway.

    I think that with fanfiction, people only really read those that interest them. Up until now, and for my 10 fanfic research, I only ever read fanfiction stories for shows/movies/books that I knew well. However, I think it is good to get people to read your story who do not know the storyline. This means people will not be so biased. :-)
    So even though I don't know Chuck, and I was a little confused at some of the terminology, (i.e. since downloading the Intersect 2.0) I thought you did a good job. I was certianly interested and I picked up that Chuck must be an agent working for the C.I.A and that he loves Sarah, who is also an agent. The only part that confused me was the ending. Why has she gone to get his mother?
    If you were to write more, then I would definitely be keen to read it. You are a great suspense writer!

    I also like the way you broke up the text with extra spacing between the paragraphs and that you used pictures (this helped me visualise the characters but also broke up the text even more.) Breaking up the text helps me read the story, as I'm not put off by a big block of text.

    Matt

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  6. Loved it, it was funny and moving at the same time because Chuck's fans know what Chuck is like, he seems a lil lost at times but he always gets back on his feet. And I think you're a major Chuck's fan as you know the characters' personalities, loved the short dialogue between Sarah and Chuck - "Isn't is a nice view?" - "Focus Chuck"

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  7. Thanks for the comment Matthew.
    I added in a little sentence that should give a little more incite as to why Sarah has “gone to get your mother.”

    There is some terminology in my fan fiction that would be lost on some readers but It would take up to many words if I had to explain everything. I will give a brief definition of one. The Intersect is a database of all of the C.I.A information and it has been mistakenly downloaded in chucks mind.

    I decided not to write a Prolog because as Matthew said, people normally read fan fiction because they know the Cannon well, Plus it would make it to long.

    ReplyDelete