Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Melba's fanfiction

Grey's Anatomy

5 years after Izzie's successful surgery...

Alex was looking at this empty lounge with a feeling that nobody would ever want to feel. She was not coming back, she was gone.

"You should have a break. Come on Alex..." said Meredith with a quiet but shaking voice.

Alex couldn't hear anything, he was in his "world" determined to finish filling the huge amount of unfolded boxes leaning against the wall.

His heart was dancing to a really slow beat, his eyes were red and looked tired, he couldn't really feel anything apart from this terrible ache in the chest. It wasn't physical. It was worse.

"You have to stop doing this Alex! You have to rest." Meredith was worried for him. She was devastated by what happened too but she had to be there for her friend, he needed her.

Alex was in a limbo kind of state of mind, "I.. I.. I have to finish packing ok?".

Meredith put her hand on his shoulder, he then slowly looked at her with despair in his eyes, "She's gone..." he shook his head, "Gone... God I can't believe it... She was my everything and.. she's gone."

- "Life's gonna get better in time Alex, Izzie wouldn't want you to feel this way for the rest of your life"

- "The rest of my life?!" Alex interrupted with tears running down his face "I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with her! And how would she want me to feel?! Good?!... Happy?! These words don't exist anymore Meredith... I just can't do it without her."

Meredith took him in her arms "You're gonna be alright, I promise. You're gonna live this life the way Izzie would have wanted you to. You're gonna keep faith and make her and this little guy proud. You hear me?"

"But what exactly am I supposed to do right now? I don't think there's any manual teaching you how to cope, is there? Huh... I remember where I was 5 years ago. I was on the top of the world! Feeling greater than ever! Thinking that life was giving us a second chance... Damn! I felt good... But when you expect it less she decides it's time to suffer again. She takes everything back and leaves you there, with nothing to hang on to..."

Meredith felt a heavy weight on her shoulders, how was she supposed to comfort him after what he just said. He was right, life took a part of him away. He lost the love of his life how worse could it get? She imagined herself in Alex's situation. She stopped breathing for a second, she couldn't even bear the idea of losing Derek. She took a deep breath.

- "Alex you're right. Life can be so unpredictible. Anything can happen at any time. We work in a hospital where life is so fragile, where people come thinking that their father, brother or wife is doing ok where as life has already decided otherwise. You named it Alex, that's life... She chose to take Izzie away but life for you must go on! You're not alone."

Alex took his head in his hands as if it was too hard to hear "Everything seems so far away from me, everything's out of reach right now!"

Meredith stopped him "You have us... you have HIM! It is time to think about your future. He needs you more than anything in the world Alex" she was pointing at the kitchen.

A little cry came out of the kitchen. There, was a green stroller next to the only chair remaining in the kitchen. Alex approached it with tears in his eyes but a little tender smile on his face. He took his son in his arms, he was so small and warm. Alex could feel his little heart beating against his fingers that looked really big next to that wee little body.

- "He's your hope and future." said Meredith with a hopeful voice, "Now it's you and him against the world."

Alex put his left hand into the baby bag full of nappies reaching for his phone, he unlocked it, turned the volume at its highest then pressed "Menu" - "My files" - "Music", he scrolled down, stopped at "L'Hymne à l'Amour" and played it. He then put the phone on the chair and started to dance really slowly with his son in his arms, he couldn't take his eyes off of him.

Le ciel bleu sur nous peut s’effondrer
Et la terre peut bien s’écrouler
Peu m’importe si tu m’aimes
Je me fous du monde entier
Tant qu’l’amour inond’ra mes matins
Tant que mon corps frémira sous tes mains
Peu m’importent les problèmes
Mon amour puisque tu m’aimes

~~~
Si un jour la vie t’arrache à moi
Si tu meurs que tu sois loin de moi
Peu m’importe si tu m’aimes
Car moi je mourrai aussi
Nous aurons pour nous l’éternité
Dans le bleu de toute l’immensité
Dans le ciel plus de problèmes
Mon amour crois-tu qu’on s’aime
Dieu réunit ceux qui s’aiment


It was their wedding song. He felt the song and its lyrics like never before.

"Your mummy ab-so-lu-tely loved it" said Alex. He turned to Meredith who was watching the scene from the lounge and smiled at her, "He's my hope".

He then whispered "God reunites those who love each other".

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Andy's 10 Fanfic

Chuck

This short piece of fan fiction is written about the hit drama/comedy series Chuck. It takes us into the future where Chuck is regretful of the path he eventually follows. The story was written in the third person with a mellow tone. Piece by piece the reader unravels what has happened to the always beloved Chuck. It really plays on the characters vulnerable side to appeal to the reader. The dialog near the end spliced the flow of the story and used cliche lines such as, "you have gentle eyes." It is a sufficient length for the storyline and not overly descriptive. It was overall good but it left me feeling sad for what Chuck ultimately has to face, Which is a change to the normal feel good ending.


Firefly

This is a cleverly written story of the rivalry between Inara and Saffron. The author begins by alternating between the characters’ thoughts each paragraph. This gives the reader a deeper understanding of each character and a greater incite into their perspective. When the characters enter into the same room, the writing changes from thought to dialog and begins to mix into the paragraphs. The grammar in this fanfiction was great, the author has obviously written before; I wanted to keep reading to discover what was going to happened next!

Taken
Treasure

This is unlike any fanfic I have read; it takes two important scenes near the end of the movie and puts it into a first person POV of the Farther. It sounds like a simple fan fiction writing strategy, but this author did a fantastic job at it. It absolutely captured the anguish, anxiety and other emotions of the film using descriptive writing and the examination of characters’ thoughts. This makes the reader feel closer to, and more entwined with the plot line; it’s almost like watching the real thing. There was some definite research done before writing this – the dialog and the descriptions used align correctly with the movie making it an excellent piece and worth the read.
 
Knight And Day
This piece has a rather gloomy outcome for the comedy couple in this movie. June is heading to her death because she feels guilty about being the cause of Roy’s death. The shortness of this fanfic inhibits its ability to get the reader to connect with the characters. The author did set the atmosphere quite well for the first half but it seemed like they gave up and just wanted to finish as readers near the end. It begins with a nice flow where ideas make sense, but then it shifts and I found it jumping around leaving the reader confused as to what was happening and why.

Green Hornet
Who Wears The Pants In This Relationship?
 
I found the argument that this fan fiction revolves around rather pointless and not well thought out, its about a comment that Kato makes about Brit stating he “is my woman.” If the argument between them was not so petty the story would fall together better. The author did show a good understanding of the dynamic duo relationship with harmless bantering just like in the move. The descriptions are quite vague with lines like, “Kato wanted to drag him back in and give him some black and blue bruises with his super fighting skills.” It would have been more engaging if the author described lines such as these with more detail. It was a well written piece but it could have been a lot better with a little more detail and thought.

Samurai Jack/Snow Crash

This fan fiction opens with Jack having gone into the future and ending up in the world of Snow Crash. Meeting several of the books characters, they set out on a mission to start a revaluation against Haku. The idea of joining these two story lines is ingenious; they fit together seamlessly. The author has created a masterpiece with only a few grammar and spelling errors but that can be overlooked because it is 25000 words long. I was not going to read the whole thing but found myself hooked and before I knew it, I had finished. The author really takes control of his or her writing; it was as though I was reading a novel from a published author – a good one at that. The descriptions give you an accurate perception of the characters and made it feel as though you were in the fan fiction yourself. This piece stands out from all the fan fiction I have read and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to know what a creative and well written fan fiction looks like.

House/Big Bang Theory

The concept of this fan fiction interested me, putting two of the characters from The Big Bang Theory (Sheldon and Leonard) into the hospital where Dr. House works. Sticking these characters together is an interesting idea because they are complete contrasts to each other. The dialogue for this was quite precise creating an accurate perception of the TV show characters using lines like, “good news its drugs” to portray of Dr Houses sarcasm. Despite it being a great idea to mash these two shows together the plot was not great, making the relationship between the different characters not very engaging for the reader.

How I Met Your Mother

This fan fiction captures the feeling of a How I Met Your Mother episode. It begins by jumping into the middle of an argument between the gang, trying to determine if kissing an ex brings up old feelings. The author uses this debate to play on an old relationship between Barney and Robin. It starts off with everyone included in the discussion then when they go to prove the point point that it does not, it focuses on Barney’s perspective to give a brief backround as to why he may argue the side that he does. This story kept me interested the whole way through with an exciting plot that made me want to find out what happened. There was not much to describe the characters so you would want to know the show before reading this one.

 Silmarillion

This story about the battle at Angband had a lot of potential as it was a battle scene and had a lot of opportunity to be descriptive but the author failed to put any emotion into it. It seemed like they were more concerned with getting down the plot and forgot to put in the detail. The battle itself lasted a few lines which only really explained two of Maedhros kills. One thing I did like about this was the fact that it was a guess who fan fiction, making the reader guess who’s POV it was from


Where The Wild Things Are
I found this parody about the popular Where the Wild Things Are, quite disappointing. The plot had potential that the author did not meet; it was empty and non descriptive and failed to capture my attention. The story line was supposed to be about Max who is now in college but I found that the author failed to keep this up, slipping to parts that you would think he was writing about a young boy. This was supposed to be a comedy but I did not find it to be funny and coming in at 4311 words was far too drawn out. It is also an unfinished piece that I do not wish to go back and read when the final product is completed.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Melba's 10 Fanfic

Bones
Losing Hope: Violation
This fanfiction is well done, I think that the scenario could actually be used by the producers it is so good and interesting. The main reason why it really works for me is that it's all about the relationship between Booth and Brennan and that the situation seems so possible as the writer stuck to the characters' way of behaving and talking. Plus it tells us what we all wanted from the beginning, the two of them loving each other. A little too short though.

Brothers & Sisters
This Is It
The writer must have a great imagination because he put one of the main characters in a situation which seems impossible. But the style is good, s/he used flashbacks kind of dialogues to tell you more about the story without really explaining what happened before which I thought was very well done plus the use of the third person makes you spectator of the scene so you can actually see the action happening while reading.

Chuck
Silence
The title really reflects what the story is all about, silence. It's a bit boring and pointless to me when you reach the end but I think the style is good because you really feel the silence in the story. The fact that the writer used short sentences in the dialogues, the dialogues being really short themselves (question-answer pattern) emphasizes the heaviness of silence.

Cold Case
A way with words
Another "stuck in the elevator" story. The story is really predictable two people - one male, one female - stuck in an elevator, it's cold, the guy gives the girl his jacket, they end up kissing. I don't think the writer put anything special in this story. There were a few sentences that were well written in relation to the characters' background and position in their work but there were a lot of "cheesy" ones as well.

Happy Tree Friends
Lie Detector
A Happy Tree Friends episode. It was different from the original episodes as the characters were actually speaking, it was longer than it usually is, plus it wasn't funny. I don't think it was a success because the writer missed the whole point of the series which is to make people laugh by making the characters do really stupid things and die. There, it was all about the investigation after the death of one of them. Plus s/he forgot some words like give in the sentence "I'm gonna give you" or wrote I instead of it in "I could be him?". And finally s/he didn't even finish the story.

Memoirs of a Geisha
To Carve A Pumpkin
I think it's beautifully written. The writer used the first person to write the story which was a smart decision as it's all about emotional and physical feelings. It's suspenseful and exciting at the same time. S/he used a really strong sentence to finish on, which summed up the story's "fruit salad" mix of feelings.

Memoirs of a Geisha
Memoirs Of A Broken Heart
Loved reading it. The story's written with the first person so everything's seen through the main character's eyes. Like in the previous fanfic that I commented on, it's a mix of feelings that are really strong and using the first person to describe the situation was very good. Also, the words used are quite simple which makes it easier to read.

I am Legend
Reality
It's a remake of one of the scenes of I am Legend, not a really good one. It is written in the first person but still doesn't quite make you relate to the character or the story. The end is predictable as well so not really interesting, plus knowing the original story makes it harder to "accept" this version; the original story is all about saving the human kind where as here it's about the main character only, which I think doesn't work.

Prince of Persia
Anxiety
Quite short but I guess the quality of the work is more important than the length. It's good because it gives another point of view that is not described in the movie and even though I don't agree 100% with this point of view I still think the writer's done a good job with it as I always wondered what the character's point of view could be at this point of the movie.

KungFu Panda
Birthday
Fanfic about the famous Kung-Fu Panda. The story is really strange!!! It was easy to read and there was a good knowledge of the character's personalities so the dialogues were quite appropriate to the characters but the whole story just doesn't work for me.

Chris Dents FanFic: Bioshock




Bioshock

I stood in Raptures Main Plaza.
Jostled between damp bodies, my sign held high proudly above my head.
“DOWN WITH RYAN, SET US FREE!!”
Just like the message, the crowds feeling was forceful. Taught as a bowstring set to be strung.
I closed my eyes, could feel him watching.
That God almighty figure, a shadowy founder of the underwater city wonder we now struggle to live in. Like God he has his wrath, or justice as he sees fit. Justice beyond measure of sanity it seems. He created this place yes, but now we are ready to leave. We are humans not sheep.
I have been in this place since it’s beginning. Crowds swarmed, intellectuals gravitated towards the tempting unknown. A utopia free for minds to create, a place of equality where you can rightly own what you work for.  To be so far away from anywhere would be such an opportunity we all thought! Being able to be away from controlling governments and inhibited lives chosen for us by upper class giants.
It was too good though, far too good to be true.
Life, and all it’s perceptions seem only to last for seconds.
With the freedom people began to wander form the path, pleasant thoughts could become sinister, class patterns began to emerge, a clash of those fighting to be top dog.
Then us, us pawns at the bottoms. We’re the ones who loose out the most. Here in our hundreds captured in our cages, so into the street we’re running. Defending our dignity again, fighting for a chance for freedom.
I thrust my sign roof wards, thinking back to the fall of this civilization.
ADAM, a miracle drug founded on the ocean floor.
A thing of such power it corrupted in the most pure of soles.
This wondrous substance could change lives, heel people; create an innumerable amount of uses.
So wonderful it was enviable that it was to change things.
Even now here in this crowed I could fell its presence.
Splicers are looming for sure; they like to catch us, anything to cure their addiction for a time. A lust for power, that could drive a victim do ghastly deeds.
We felt the fear. It fuelled us. Fuelled us to leave our homes. To beat on doors.
Suddenly a grand sound erupts around us and Andrew Ryan’s face stares rigidly down at us. A towering menace that silenced the crowed.
Sitting at a desk he crossed his fingers and looked down now in a perplexed fashion.
“People, here you are standing angrily at my feet. What is it that I have done to you all? Can’t you appreciate just what I have done for you?”
Meeker members of the crowed had already begun to run but not I. Nor would the stronger of us; our wills were not here to be broken.
“I gave you air, a free air that is your own. Not owned by a government or being leeched away by a biased company. For to long we’ve had to stand for a upper class regime.”
His voice was slowly rising. But we would not cower.
“Set us free!” was shouted from the crowd.
At that his face turned wooden. His eye’s told stories of a million disappointmentss'. We were just one more.
“NO! You dare defy me? When your best interests lie in me? But you are just parasites yourselves aren’t you. Leeching life from me. I know you’d show yourselves. TRAITERS you are and NOTHING MORE!”
The ground began to tremble.
His ground.
“You will be smitten and taken for you deceit, out of here you shall never wander. To feed your greedy selfishness elsewhere. No that will NOT DO!”
His face disappeared and an eerie quiet remained.
Suddenly walls shook around us, cold winds blew underneath me.
I turned to run now, a man in his insanity cannot be reasoned with. I’ll find another way home out of here.
But as I turned the corner my heart froze.
No more was it necessary to chant and yell, all hope was gone.
Streets were blocked with great walls. People beating them for their freedom.
Patriotic music rose around me and it was then that I knew.
As the water touched my feet I wished I’d never been born.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Matthew's Fanfiction

A Brittana (Santana and Brittany) Fanfiction


Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
and think of you
caught up in circles confusion--
is nothing new
Flashback--warm nights--
almost left behind
suitcases of memories,
time after--



Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" played through Santana's iPod. It wasn't something she would normally listen to, in public at least, but the lyrics matched how she was feeling right now. As she sat up in bed with her warm mink blanket pulled up tightly over her shoulders, she sang along, a single tear running down her left cheek as she thought about Brittany.
Through her open curtains, Santana could see the full moon shining brightly in the night sky. It filled her with a sense of nostalgia and sadness and she wished so bad that she could go back to how things used to be. Back to when Brittany would stay over and that same moon would shine it's loving light into the room, onto the bed where they lay together, snuggled up as the wind howled through the eaves on stormy nights or as they spread out over the entire bed on balmy summer evenings, mosquitos buzzing in their ears. She wished they could go back to when they were best friends at school. And back to when Artie wasn't Brittany's stupid boyfriend. Back to when they were happy....


If you're lost you can look--and you will find me
time after time
if you fall I will catch you--I will be waiting
time after time



The lyrics spoke to her. She was lost and didn't know which way to go. During sex ed week, Miss Holliday had really helped Santana. It was through singing with her that she realized the nights she spent with Brittany felt different to those she'd had with Puck or Finn. She had come to realize that she loved Brittany and she wanted to be with her.


Santana looked over at the clock. 02:05am. Argh! Santana thought. What the hell am I going to do? I can't sleep, I can't eat. All I do is sit in bed all night and think about HER. She is driving me nuts. I have to tell her how I feel.... otherwise, I dunno what will happen.


Santana dragged herself out of bed, pulling the heavy blanket along with her. She sat down in front of her computer, the blanket drapped over her shoulders, and began typing.

Brittany,


I know everyone thinks that I'm a bitch, and I don't blame them. I'm from Lima Heights, which puts me on the wrong side of town and I have a reputation for not taking crap from nobody. I say what I think and I don't let anything, or anyone stand in my way. Even around you, I have this guard up, these prison walls that I never let down. I keep everything inside this cold grey cell and never, ever let a single ray of sun shine through.
I'm sad and lonely and I put up this tough sister-act kind of deal to hide it and make everyone think that I'm okay, but I'm not okay. I'm not.
And you know what, Brit? I only just realized for myself what's wrong. I only just realized why I always feel this way, why I don't want to get out of bed in the mornings and why I skulk around school with this attitude, as if a huge black rain cloud is following me and I've forgotten my umbrella.
I also know why every time I've slept with Puck and that time I selfishly took Finn's virginity, I know why it didn't feel right or "special" like everyone says it's supposed to. It's because I'm in love with you. Those nights we spent together, although I didn't realize it then, they were the ones that I will cherish and remember. They were the nights that meant something.
Shit Brittany, you're all I ever think about and I can't believe you rejected me like that the other day. I came to you because I love you and I trusted you and I thought you felt that way for me. Or I thought that you at least felt something for me. But no, you tossed me aside, you told me that if it didn't work out with Artie, then you'd come for me. If it didn't work out with Artie? Is that supposed to make me feel better? That's putting me second, Brittany. I can't be that person, I can't wait around for you.

Santana sat staring at the last line, "I can't wait around for you".
I can't wait around for you. 
I can't wait around for you
The words kept going around and around in her head. 
If I can't wait around for you any longer, then who or what do I have to wait around for? 


Santana stood up and walked over to the window. She had a view of downtown Lima, the myriad of lights twinkling below in the valley. She knew what it was like to have a tough life. Her parents were always at work. Her brother was always with the gang, smoking crack or getting into trouble. Boys had taken advantage of her. She'd always been a C-grade student, excelling only at Glee club and cheer-leading. The only thing that could have made her life better, worth living even, was Brittany. Brittany was the only one who could light her life, brighten her up like the town below. But she couldn't have her. 


Tears rushed down her flushed cheeks and she let out a frustrated scream. FUCK! All she wanted to do was end it. End it all. But it was all too easy. She'd had a tough life. She'd been fucked over, sure. But there had to be more. Surely.... She picked up the phone. 


"Hello?"
"Miss Holliday? It's Santana.... you said I could call if I needed you."
"Oh hey darl, you know you can. What's up..?"




after my picture fades and darkness has
turned to gray
watching through windows--you're wondering
if I'm OK
secrets stolen from deep inside
the drum beats out of time-- 



if you're lost you can look--and you will find me
time after time
if you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
time after time 



if you're lost...
...time after time
time after time
time after time
time after time

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Josiah's fanfiction

An American Gods Fanfiction

Her ears twitched, eyes closed in bliss as her fur absorbed the sunlight. Claws flexing, retracting, her tail twisting and curling with the imagined hunt.

A fly lands on her pink nose, and the golden eyes snap open, head jerking upwards to glare at the offending insect.

She pulls herself upright, raspy tongue pulling along the amber fur.

Seeing the day's almost dead, she slowly makes her way across the sparse backyard, covered in dry grass from the beating summer sun.

Her body grows, the fur rippling and melting into caramel coloured flesh, as her joints slide into new positions.

Her hips undulating, she comes into the funeral home that she calls home, now in full human shape.

Her hand comes up to encircle her extended belly instinctively, and she places herself into the seat across from Mr Ibis.

He grins as he looks at her over his round glasses, a smile ghosting his lips, as his quill relentlessly scratches against the paper. "Well well well," he declares. "To what do we owe this pleasure?"

"I've been feeling more...myself." Bast faintly responds, her golden eyes drifting across the room following the lazy circular patterns of the blowflies.

"Marvelous." His attention returns to the book, the nuances dreams and passions of a life well-lived, being recorded so it's never truly lost. Not to him.

The shadow of a smile comes to her ruby lips as she thinks of him, her long clear nails tracing across her stomach.

The Shadow of a man, whose life was lost and rebuilt, before he even passed into the realm of death.

Shadow, son of a god he never saw coming, who shook his life apart.

The shadow who had offered her his heart and his name, after he'd already offered her his body.

A dream shared, in a realm that was more real than reality, that gave her so much power.

A goddess of rage and fury, passion and sex, she had forgotten her true nature centuries ago, until Shadow Moon had come into the picture.

She had pondered telling him about the child, for several moments. But she could see his destiny, extending well beyond this country. She had always known he would be destined to return.

Those golden eyes, with slit-like irises no matter her firm, watch as the air itself shifts in the dying light.

The patterns she follows of swirling dust and lazy blowflies, dying off as summer comes to a close, have changed. Chaotic and different, her brow furrows.

"He comes." She states as realisation strikes her. Mr Ibis' eyes dart up to meet hers, though he can see the change within her already, and he asks her who.

Her wild, dark hair shifts as her ears becomes pointed. Her teeth are changing, though she probably wouldn't have answered him anyway.

Disinterested, the cats on the chair merely gazes at him until she propels herself up the stairs to settle on a windowsill.

A hand comes knocking on the door of the Ibis and Jaquel Funeral Home in Cairo, Illinois, pronounced Kay-ro by the locals.

The man in an expensive grey suit, with silver pinstripe, stands back a grin already gracing his face. His red hair shifts in the breeze and he looks up at the window to see the pregnant brown cat, resting comfortably on the sill, regarding him coolly.

Mr Jaquel opens the door, shock splashing against his dark face, in the dying light. "Set?"

"The one and only, my friend."

"Where have you been? You missed the war." Jaquel steps aside, making space for Set to step into the house.

"I didn't miss it. I avoided it. Too much ordered chaos for my liking." Set walks inward, appreciating the house he hasn't seen for over a century, different yet the same.

As they come into the dining room, Ibis' hand paused in shock, his eyes round and wide above the frame of his glasses, Set announces "You know her baby will change things. He shall have no choice."

"We did suspect as much." Ibis manages to force out beyond the shock of seeing their erstwhile companion once more.

Set's face cracks into an even broader grin. "The child of two pantheons. He shall be fantastic."

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Andy's FanFiction


Chuck
 Chuck Versus the Runaway 

“Is it just me or are their faces getting rock-hard!” Chuck exclaimed whilst rubbing his hand nonchalantly after knocking out the Italian guard. Things were going as planned; break into the Villa in Torino, get the chip with stolen, top secret C.I.A information, then get out. This should be easy thought Chuck, carrying out the proposal plan is going to be the difficult part. 


The sun began to set over the luxurious villa; Chuck’s awkward attempt at romanticism failed once again as he lovingly gazed at Sarah in her flowing evening gown disguise, “Isn't it a nice view?” “Focus Chuck!” Sarah snapped as she ignored his eyes and continued to make her way towards the vault. She had been on edge ever since her private meeting with Beckman the previous day, just after chuck learned that his mother is being forced to work for Volkoff.

They discreetly strolled over to the unguarded vault, “maybe they’re at dinner?” Chuck nervously suggested. From Chuck's experience an unguarded vault was never a good sign. Sarah did not respond but instead she went to work unlocking the vault. Click! The heavy, bulletproof door slowly swung open revealing a small, clear glass box, sitting on a small white coffee table in the center of the room. Sarah was quick as she walked forward, looking over her shoulders to check for guards. She grabbed the box and turned around, only to find Chuck directly in front of her.
“It’s the only way,” she affirmed as she averted her eyes from Chuck’s. “Why so melodramatic?” Chuck innocently questioned as he had yet to notice her unusual demeanor. Instead of responding she kissed him on the cheek and started running out of the vault and down the long corridor that led them there moments earlier. 


“Sarah!!” He called, but to no avail; Chuck had no idea what she was doing, or why. The plan was simple get the chip and leave. “Sarah!” Chuck yelled again, “SARAH!” He began running after her but the villa was large and windy. He could barely see Sarah in the hall ahead; she was heading to the rear entrance. Chuck turned the corner just in time to see his love, and partner-in-spying, get into an expensive black Bentley. The next thing Chuck knew, he was on the ground with blood in his mouth and the beginnings of some swelling on his cheek. Before he had a chance to register what had happened, he heard the sound of the engine roar and fade in the distance as Sarah left. His head ached, stones were sticking into his back from the gravel; he did not want to open his eyes to face the reality of what was happening. Morgan’s voice bellowed out of his earpiece, “Chuck! Chuck! Are you alright, buddy?” “I’ve lost Sarah…” he responded quietly, with fear in his voice. Chuck opened his eyes and saw a giant man with short black hair, muscles protruding out of his two-sizes-too-small shirt looming above him. 


He instantly flashed; the man’s name was Igor and he worked for Volkoff as one of their top assassins. Chuck felt a sharp pain in his side as Igor kicked him. “Hahaha - she is never coming back! No wonder she left - who would date a guy like you anyway!” Igor snarled as he prepared to finish off his newest prey. Chuck was not thinking about the pain, all he could think about was that fact that Sarah was gone and he could not understand why. Before Chuck could search for Sarah he had to get rid of Igor. Chuck jumped to his feet, not bothering with his usual coward talk, and walked up to Igor. The giant thrust his fist towards Chuck’s face which he blocked, an instinct that he had grown accustomed to since downloading the Intersect 2.0. He could feel his face throbbing from the first blow and blood dripping from his nose as a result of the second. It could be broken but that pain would be nothing compared to losing Sarah. The Intersect was working overtime, showing Chuck many ways he could immobilize the beast. He pulled his arm back, ready to finish him. Suddenly, Chuck heard a noise which sounded like a gunshot and instinctively dropped to the ground to protect himself. He watched as Igor’s body hit the ground with a thud, Chuck thought this was odd, as most people in his field do not hold the same fear of guns as he.

“Get up!” He heard the familiar grunt of John Casey. Chuck jumped to his feet, now seeing blood coming from Igor and a gun in Casey’s hand. “John, where did Sarah go?” Chuck hastily asked “How should I know what the hell Walker is up to,” he replied placing a hand on Chuck’s shoulder trying to comfort him without getting too close. They made their way back to the Volkswagen where the team rendezvous with Morgan. Morgan handed Chuck a wet wipe from his fanny pack to clean up the blood but Chuck used it to wipe the tears. “Does this mean more man time?” Morgan awkwardly said trying to make him feel better.

“She gave me no warning, I was planning on proposing tonight,” Chuck sobbed as he leaned onto the car with his hands in his pockets. The expression on Chuck’s face changed to surprise as he pulled a small note from his pocket. ‘What does it say?’ Morgan eagerly asked. Chuck nervously unwrapped the note, which must have been put there by Sarah secretly in the vault, 
GONE TO GET YOUR MOTHER, LOVE SARAH.
Chuck’s heart sank, “walker…” groaned Casey.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Chris Dent 10 Fan Fics

      1 Whispers In The Dark: Alan Wake

This is a story set in a vidio game. The game is written entirely in first person view. So we stay with this character the whole time. In this little fan fic the auther decided to take on another chracters perspective for one of the initiating scenes of the game.
It is written well. Combining what happens to this person, and what we could see as the main character Alan. It is thrilling, and flowsin real time. Getting the carefuly structured event right on cue.
it's nice to see things from different sides.This does, whelst being captavating.  That is what makes it a success. 

      2 Orrs Watch: Catch 22

Great novel. This little story takes both of the characters and puts them in a new really funny little scene.. Portrey's the character well and even could be part of the book.
It's simple.That is part of its success, simplicity in analasys of characters in the story.
From that the auther used their own ideas to make something great. A taste of the whole novel.


3 Oppresion: 1984
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6544874/1/Oppression
This short little drabble seems to capture 1984 quite well.
I have problems with this though. It seems to take too much that has already been said in the book. Quoting something directly from the book as its last sentance.
This takes mcuh of the unorigonality out of this otherwise very good fan fic.There's feelings of desparation, fear, philosiphy.
It takes you on a little journey of feelings.
This is a good fic, but lacks puch without it's own distiinct purpose.
       4 O Rise, Rapture, Rise: Death Note/Bioshock

A interesting mix off tow completely different things, but intreging enough to keep mereading. It is long, but good. Blending part of the storyline of the game and thoughts of the new characters introduced into the setting. Has action and character clashes that give the reader a new take on both individual shows.
It even touches on modern day themes such as power and greed.
A grea take that kept tme reading to the finish.Great example of Chracter and Setting Crossover fiction.


       5 You can Take the Oncologist out of New Jersey: House/Clircks
       http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3616361/1/You_can_Take_the_Oncologist_out_of_New_Jersey

A ture to form crossover fanfic of both movie and film.
The characters seem true and believable, writing is good and entertaining.Its good to think of the subtleties of the crossover, in the end it is obvious but it slowly builds up. With interfilm and time comments and wordings.
It has a good dry sence of humour, thats written tidily and to apoint.For a short story thats crucial, so this is succesful to me. It even has a reasonable punchline.





       6 Third Annual Miserable Bastards Convention: Blackadder

This will head into something that will be very good.
Character depection is pritty much perfect. This fic makes me want to read more. What will become crossover is right now jsut a add on to a story. Taking the characters form the last series of balckadder and throwing them in a hoemly context.







      7 untitled: Trainspotting
      http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5378712/1/untitled

Another scene,, from the film it seems.Dark and sincere.
Is fluently written, with chilling statements about the lifesyle of these people.
A good fanfic to me can take you straight back to the world of the story, make you think again.
This does. Short sntances, alalytical but inconsistant thoughts.
Somewhere between a drug trip and concious thought.
Carefully not over written. It seems that alot of fan fics can overdo the small details.
This have so much effect in its statements about the surroundings that more descrition is unnecisary.
A great film, that has bourne a great fan fic

      8 Son of a Preacher Man: Pulp Fiction
      http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3738276/1/Son_of_a_Preacher_Man

Internal monolauge of a character in the final scene of the film.
In this fan fiction the auther has the luxuary to be quite creative. The character "Punpkin" is just a cameo roll  the film. In this fan fic he is given a past and personality that matches the small ammount of dialauge in the movie.
The writing is perswesive, making us sympathise with a character. Showing just how much the speech Samual L Jackson makes real. Creating the feelings we have as the audiance inside "Punmpins/Ringo's" head.
This makes it so personal and so effective I was veyr surprised.
This fan fic is sucessful because the auther took his or her own feelings and translated them into a text.
his makes it very easy to understand and relate to.

The Best and the Worst Movies of year: Family Guy
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6695524/1/The_Best_and_the_Worst_Movies_of_year

This little scene seems like something they'd do.Though not quite convincing on all the characters it is overall quite funny.
You can hear the voices saying the words, as though is is out of a skit or end show thing. This is a huge franchise, that is very recognized internationally. So to create something even similar to the series is a success. Also it is nice to see that they didn't just try to create an episode around their idea. The author instead chose to create something small to convey their idea.



      10 Mice and Metal Gods: OF Mice and Metal Gods/Metalocalypse
      http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6761383/1/Of_Mice_and_Metal_Gods

Sillly spoof.
Accurate and quite well written.
The person has actually read the book before trying to write something, which makes the humor much better. Gives it a kind of intelligence that isn't obvious whilst reading the text.
Two completely different things.
Interesting by name and content

Josiah's 10

Viking Vs Vampire
The first chapter is a fun little story, following the events of the 4th True Blood book but diverging very early on. It's fun and enjoyable, and the ending was enough of a surprise to make me want to continue reading. An alternate universe that uses established events in a slightly different way, it illuminated the characters and some of their conflicts well, establishing drama and mystery early on especially to those familiar with the book series.



Batman And Sons is a cute fan-made comic series, featuring the Robins and the Batman of the future as if they were the mischievous, light-hearted sons of Batman. There's a wide range of one to five page comic strips, which are small amusing comedic gags. The characters are reduced greatly, with hints of the originals they're based on, but besides Batman and Alfred they're reduced to playful children.


Fashion Fades, Style Is Eternal is too long to be a drabble, but is short and effective at displaying Sophie-Anne's character, as just a moment in any day for her. It's nicely written, and is free of any angst.




Spinning off from the Dark Knight movie,it's a low-key psychological introduction to a fan-favourite character from the comic books, bringing her into the universe of the Batman films.
Production values are average, partly because it's set in a single room, and presented as therapy sessions with the Joker.
They slowly (within their self imposed time limits) transform her character, showing the cracks in her facade through established character tics.



Becoming Tomorrow is a piece of Teen Titans fiction, bridging the gap between established canon and a potential dark future glimpsed in the comics. It explains these character transitions quite well, with the narrative coming from the POV of each of the core characters. It has some action but is mostly reflections and small scale dramatic scenes.
Because it is so character driven, if I was completely unfamiliar with the comics I might not be sure who the characters are, but I think they explain enough of the links so you can follow it as you go along and discover each character.



Superman Classic (A short film)
I greatly enjoy the classical, iconic imagery, and how he picks and mixes from a range of the Superman actors/visual influences to provide a brief yet enjoyable story. This would probably be the fan-film equivalent of drabble, short and sweet but ending on a hook. I personally liked the addition of the creator's words at the end delving into the process, though it really wasn't necessary to enjoy it as a whole.


Hello Megan is a fluff piece, showcasing her thoughts during a moment from a recent episode of the show. I thought it showed the weird tension between the two characters pretty well without going overboard. It actually reflected the events simply as they happened, and attributed meaning to them which made it really feel like just an extension of the canon itself.


Aftermath is a Battlestar Galactica short piece. I thought it was well enough written, despite dropping a word to make it fit as a drabble (while having other words which could have been cut) however it didn't totally work for me. The flashback scenes were clunky and rather cliche, and IMHO didn't really add a huge amount to the weight of the story. I would have enjoyed it more had the moments not been totally generic.
The fact that they got the name of the planet wrong took me out of the story as well, even if it was just by a letter.



Sookie, Interrupted is an alternate universe, altering the history just enough to have a radically different yet familiar starting point. It did lose me towards the end of the first chapter just from spelling errors that took me out of the story marginally, and I think the writing was a little bland at a couple of points while sidelining some of the important canonical characters and radically altering others, but for the most part it's a really interesting idea that's readable. They manage to change most of the characters in a very logical way following the canon, and the new characters fit well into place.



Two Ships Passing is a sort-of sequel to American Gods, a vignette in the tradition of the character to have a chance encounter with a deity. There's plenty of angst-it's almost entirely the purpose of the other character to voice her angst. Some of the exposition felt slightly clunky, with more telling than showing, but it was a short space to establish a character with enough hints as to who she is without stating the goddess she's based on.

Kate's 10 Fanfic

One Day, a Criminal Minds fanfic

This is so incredibly just like an analogue out of the actual series! Well, one that SHOULD be on the show sometime, because of course it's fairly obvious how poor Garcia feels about hunky Morgan. This piece is written with perfect understanding of the characters and in a way their "inside voice" would really be rambling. It kept my utmost attention the whole way and I truly felt empathetic towards the characters. Beautiful description as well, I could visualise every little detail. Loved it!


I Saw Reality (Sherlock Holmes)

It is very clear the author is an avid Sherlock Holmes reader as this fanfic reads so similar to Doyle's writing that it could have been extracted from the beginning of any number of the novels in the series. So in keeping with the original style, it is written from Dr. Watson's perspective and is when their friendship is in the earlier stages( although Watson calls it "acquaintance"). I love how it starts with a quote, very characteristic of Holmes and his philosophical thinking (which is what this fanfiction really plays on) and the way it quickly establishes the habits/hobbies particular of Holmes, for example: his "sprawled out" posture, his habit of never thinking about a case before it's started, inhaling(heroine) from his pipe, the meditative "black depression", and his gifted skill of playing classical music on his violin.

This certainly left me wanting to know more about Holmes' philosophies although not much that hasn't been written before, but perfect for anyone new to the novels.



Sylverster- what happened next...
A very good, nicely written extension of the wonderful novel Sylvester (although I must admit I quite like how Georgette Heyer always finishes her novels with a long-awaited kiss). It reads much as if it really were part of the original novel, dragging the inside thoughts of the characters and the description of the kissing scene a little too long for my liking. The author did well in keeping the regency-style dialogues throughout, exept this still didn't save it from becoming a trifle "blah" as it doesn't quite have the quickness of wit and spirit that makes Georgette Heyer's novels so hard to put down.


Oppression (1984)

This little drabble highlights some of the key ideas from George Orwell's 1984 like: Big Brother is always watching you through a "telescreen", if you're a "thoughtcriminal " you get tortured and your very existence wiped out of history, "proles" (the lowest class) still lead relatively "normal" lives and therefore hold the key to freedom IF they ever choose to fight the "Party". It's alright, but has noway near the dramatic effect of the original, it's written in first person although we don't know who's thoughts they are (Winston's?) and there are a couple of spelling mistakes. I think 1984 is one of the best novels ever written and fervently recommend it to anyone who likes to read thought-provoking works. This little fanfic doesn't quite do it any justice.

A History of Violence

A femslash/ crossover with Sara from the TV series CSI and Temperance from the Bones series. It 's written in third person, intersected with dialogue. As a fan of both tv series I found the two characters very believable as both of them are rather straight-up, to-the-point kind of women which is reflected by their dialogue in this fanfic and also makes it very plausible that they'd be attracted to each other. I found it enjoyable enough to read although the grammar wasn't the best in places, and I'm a little confused how the title comes into it... but I guess it isn't a finished piece so it's possible it'll make sense further on in the storyline, It either has something to do with the past of one of the characters or possibly a case they end up working on. By all accounts, a nice femslash so far.

Fat and Fatigue (Blackadder)


A very delightful little piece of Blackadder humour, so well written I could almost mistake it for an original episode. This author has truly captured the very essence of what makes Blackadder so darn hilarious: a perfect mix of the ridiculous and cynicism. The story line works so well, starting out with Blackadder in his butler role to the Prince Regent and being his usual cynical self. Things seem to be going his way until it is abruptly put an end to by Prince George who finds himself in a bit of a dilemma. Blackadder ends up being stuck with having to take George's place in the marathon even though he tries to pass the honour onto trusty old Baldrick, who isn't such a ninny as to be fooled again. So it finishes with the great irony of Blackadder running the marathon and a mouse stealing his cheese. Jolly good stuff.

His Holiness Captain Sparrow

Simply delightful. Any fan of Pirates of the Caribbean will appreciate the sheer brilliance in how this little oneshot is written, the dialogue captures Jack Sparrow so precisely and the storyline/plot works so well, one could easily believe it was written by one of Disney's own screenwriters. There's really nothing I can pick on in this piece. A thoroughly enjoyably read. And a wonderful back-story as to how he got those beads!

                                                                          House

A very promising first chapter; written in third person, beginning just as any House episode should and portrays Dr. House absolutely spot-on, even though he only has a few lines of dialogue, there's no mistaking him or Cuddy for that matter. Very engaging dialogue, easy to visualize what is going on and the storyline seems to be heading in a good direction. Certainly left me wanting more.

The Night of the Living Thorpes (Northanger Abbey)

It begins rather similar to the chapter in the original where Catherine is waiting to go for a stroll with the Tilneys but is forced by her friends the Thorpes and her own brother to go visit Blaize castle, then all of a sudden it becomes clear that it is a very different take on the little excursion to the castle. It takes a kind of horror approach. The author has very cleverly created the Thorpes dialogues to be true to their characters even though they are now "living dead" and falling apart. A very well put together horror version of this little episode, written in third person, in keeping with the novel and good use of regency language; although I don't think a lady would use the expression "I'll lay a monkey". So all in all a brilliantly horrifying and charming story with a hint of vampire saved for the very end.

Gone (Glee)

I think the author of this little angst fanfiction certainly captures the essence of Brittany's character; not too bright but always herself.It is written from her perspective but I unfortunately found the plot a little hard to follow and the whole reason for her unhappiness seemed very ambiguous. There were also many issues with spelling/grammar.

Matthew's 10 Fan Fiction

Friends

When I first found out that we were going to be researching ten different pieces of fan fiction before writing our own, I immediately thought of the show Friends and looked up a couple of pieces of fanfiction based on this series. The first one I found actually horrified me and I would go as far as saying that it tore apart many of the fantasies I had of what would happen to Rachel/Ross after the show finished, or what could have happened if Rachel never got off the plane. This fanfiction in particular, entitled "Don't You Know Me?" focuses on Rachel and her new life in Paris. In this fanfiction, Rachel doesn't see her friends, family or even her daughter for more than four years. Like I said before, this horrified me. As a major Friends fan, I know that the character of Rachel would never abandon her friends like that. She would certainly never abandon her daughter either, so much to the point that the poor girl doesn't even know who she is! I think that as a writer, you can take certain liberties and write basically whatever you want to make the story your own, but when basing your story on such a well known show, it goes without saying that the characters should somewhat resemble those that we know and love from onscreen! The "Rachel" in this story lacked any of the personality attributes from the show - I'll be the first to say that in the show, Rachel could be a right b-i-t-c-h, but she would always look out for her friends in their time of need and never turn her back on them. 

Glee

This fanfic is based on the Rachel Berry/Sam Evans (Samchel) pairing from the show Glee. From the moment I started reading it I was hooked thanks to the writer's excellent ability at "tapping" into the characters' inner ramblings and I thought they got their personalities just right. In this fanfic, Rachel goes to Finn and Quinn's wedding and meets up with Sam, the guy she knew least from Glee club at high school. Having watched this show from the beginning, I had honestly never thought of this pair being together so I thought the writer definitely had an interesting point of view. The writer did a great job of bringing these two very different characters together in a story that wasn't too long or too short.

Twilight Saga
The first thing I noticed about this fanfiction was how close the writer's style was to that of Stephanie Meyer's (the original author of the Twilight Saga). In fact, had I not known it was a fanfiction, I could have been forgiven for thinking it was the fifth installment in the Saga! I thought the writer did such a good job that throughout the story, I had to keep reminding myself that it was just a fanfiction and that it was not written by Stephanie Meyer. The story focuses on a now thirteen year old Renesmee who has started to develop a crush on Jacob. Anyone who knows the Saga will be screaming for joy as we know Jacob has imprinted on Renesmee. (I for one have always wondered whether Renesmee would have feelings towards Jacob in the end.) She is going through a tough time at the moment, in fact she is pretty much suicidal at this point, as the Volturi want her, Edward, Bella and Alice to go to Italy and join the guard due to their "abilities". I was a little bit disappointed to see that this fanfiction is not yet finished (as of 15/03/11) and only has a prologue and a first chapter. I'll check back on it in a few months and see if the writer has added any more chapters, as it was actually really good.


Mamma Mia

My Donna is a fanfiction based on Donna and Sam from the movie Mamma Mia.
It's a very romantic story and seems to show that Donna and Sam are wasting no time making up for the 20 years they were apart. The writer uses really descriptive words that relate to the beautiful night sky they are under such as "He takes a deep breath and turns to me, a glimmer all too similar to the starlight dancing in his eyes" and "I can see how he smiles. His profile radiates like the quarter moon above." I think this is a good technique because it helps us imagine the environment they are in (one of the best things about the Mamma Mia movie was the film locations - amazing) but it is also very romantic and shows how much Donna loves Sam.
Something I really like in this story is the way the writer used actual ABBA lyrics to back up what was being said as well as using songs by Janis Joplin to re-iterate and demonstrate what is happening in the story.
I would classify this piece of fanfiction in the romance genre. To me, it was a gripping, moving piece and shows how two people can truly love each other even after such a long time and distance.

Coronation Street
A Sophie and Sian fanfiction

Something I liked about this fanfiction straight away was the way the author used first person and basically made the characters speak like normal people. These two girls seemed real which made for easy reading, although one thing I will say is that at times, she waffled on a bit, for example when Sian was trying to decide which music to listen to on her iPod at the gym, she stated that she was going to listen to Glee, and then said "What? Don't look at me like that, I like Glee, who doesn't! They actually make pretty good work out tunes! And heellllooooo Brittana! Anyway… " I just thought this made her character seem a little bit immature.
As I said about another fanfiction, I liked the way the writer used song lyrics to back up what was going on and to show how the characters were feeling. It is definitely an interesting point of view coming from song lyrics. This fanfiction is probably not everyone's cup of tea, focusing on the lesbian relationship between Sophie and Sian.
The story is set up in a way that each alternative chapter is from the other girl's point of view, which I think made this fanfiction a little repetitive near the end, but once you got to the new content it was humourous, cute and made me feel really happy that this young couple had found each other.

Finding Nemo/The Little Mermaid cross over

This fanfiction is about Bruce, the great white vegetarian shark from Finding Nemo, and his adventure to Atlantica, the kingdom of the ocean, where he went to find help for his beloved Great Barrier Reef. This was the first "cross-over" fanfiction that I had read. I thought a cross-over between Finding Nemo and The Little Mermaid was a really great idea for a story and something I wouldn't have thought of. Because the writer used first person to write this story, I was really able to go into Bruce's psyche and see how he felt and overall, it was quite an emotional read. In fact, you could compare the Bruce in this story to a recovering alcoholic or drug addict, that's how strong his temptations towards eating fish were, but he also had his other demons. There was so much character development in this story and I felt like we really got to know Bruce and got to experience a sort of 90s era Disney through the characters of Ariél and Flounder, which gave me a sense of nostalgia. The story was quite long, but I think it needed to be that way to really make you understand the characters and what's going on.

8 Simple Rules/Big Bang Theory cross over

Inspired after reading the Finding Nemo/Little Mermaid cross over, I decided to search for another cross over fanfiction, this time 8 Simple Rules and the Big Bang Theory. I had always wondered why didn't they just call the character of Penny in The Big Bang Theory "Bridget" and carry on her character from 8 Simple Rules. I believe it would have been an easy task and would have given her character more of a back story - both characters have the same kind of personality and Penny is from out of town. This particular fanfiction, Penny's Secret, was a bit far-fetched but had the bones of a good story. It was just unfortunate that the writer decided to write the story with no "fluff", as in it wasn't very descriptive and basically just said what happened. I thought this made the story quite boring and at times, I found myself skimming through it quickly to find some kind of excitement or action, but to no avail. As I said, it had the bones of a good story and with a bit of time and effort put into making it descriptive and captivating, it could be a credible storyline as to why Penny is who she is and why she is living in Pasadena, of all places.

The Hangover


"Live Your Life" is a fanfiction based on the movie "The Hangover". It revolves around the character Phil and how he and one of his "geeky" students hooked up while in Las Vegas for Doug's bachelor party. I felt it was quite "amateur-ish" and very black and white. There was nothing descriptive at all and I didn't think the writer managed to tap into any of the characters, so I felt very disconnected from the whole thing. Throughout the story, I also felt like the writer was infatuated with Phil, continuously describing how "hot" he was, and maybe s/he wished they were the character of Mia.


Hairspray


This story is about Link, Tracey, Penny and Seaweed. It is centered around the song "Without Love" from the movie soundtrack. What I love about this fanfiction was how they stated everyone's point of view and how they feel about each other. It was very romantic. As I was reading this story, I felt like I could hear the characters from the actual movie, and the writer wrote it in a way that made it seem like I was tapping into their inner thoughts. I like the way it was set out, giving a point of view and then moving into the song lyrics. As I read it, I pictured what would have happened in the movie and then sang along to the words of the song lyrics before continuing to read the actual story. 


Justin Bieber Fanfiction

I know that as soon as people hear that "Khaki" is a Justin Bieber fanfiction, they're going to be flaming like angry towns-people chasing after the dirty green ogre, pitch-forks and guns in hand. But I assure you, before you get all bent out of shape, this story is utterly moving. The writer uses colours as symbols for the different emotions that Justin is feeling. Khaki is his life, his routine, and as a girl called Calissa enters his life, we see all the other colours, colours he didn't even know existed, bursting into his world, "seeping through and draining away [his] khaki." I like how the story is poetic and very descriptive, which makes for easy and enjoyable reading. Even the character of Calissa, basically a bully, had so much depth. I really got to know these characters inside-and-out thanks to the writer's excellent ability. It was so deep and moving that I read it over and over, being able to relate to some of the things Justin was feeling.